Raise your hand if you know one or two fantasy owners who seem to be ALLERGIC to trades...most of us do. We know the characteristics of these owners all too well. In fact, you may even see some of them in yourself? Things like the fact that it would practically take an act of God for them to e-mail you with a trade offer (much less call you). When you send them an offer they either don't respond at all or with a quick "I'm pretty busy this week but I'll look it over and get back to you" - which, of course, they don't. Unfortunately these are usually the same owners who pick up a free agent as often as I pick up Reese Witherspoon, start players on a bye and are generally hovering near the cellar of your league.
Through the years, I've had to get pretty creative with owners like this and today I'd like to share a few tips that I've found work with these guys. First, I'm going to go completely against some advice I've given you previously - DON'T call them. Don't even bother - you won't get anything accomplished today anyway. All you want to do is "plant the seed". Start by e-mailing them an offer that seems too good to be true - because it is. Careful not to make it too outrageous, but make sure it's something that clearly tips the scales in your opponent's favor. You of course, have no intention of giving up McNabb for their #2 receiver and their 2nd round pick next year because you traded yours away - but they don't need to know that. All you're doing is opening the lines of communication. Now they HAVE to respond or else endure a second e-mail from you along the lines of "What's your problem with Donavon Freaking McNabb!?! Good luck riding out the year with Aaron Brooks. Now go away before I taunta you a seconda time!" to quote the great Monty Python.
When they e-mail you back with "That sounds good to me" - come up with something like "Well I started thinking that if I give ya McNabb I make myself aweful thin at QB. But how about..." Now you have them negotiating. Before they responded to you they had all kinds of excuses available to them. Now that they've responded once, they'll usually feel obligated to follow-up.
Know people's buttons and push them. Are they a pretty talkative person in real life? That is, when they aren't busy trying to avoid getting shafted by you in a fantasy football trade? Know their interests. Know what they do for a living. Starting the phone call by talking to them about "life" shuts down their defenses. Everybody has a PASSION. Mine is Fantasy Football. If you run into me on the street and ask me "So how's your fantasy team doin'?" you now have my full attention and I can talk about it for as long as you're willing to listen. Find out what his "fantasy football" is and get him talking. When you call up an owner with trade allergies and just blurt out "Hey Steve, I have a trade offer for ya" you may as well have just said "Mr. Johnson. I'm so glad to have caught you at home. If you have a few moments to talk I'm wondering if you can remember the last time you had your carpets cleaned?"
Once you find a place to slide in the fact that you have a trade offer for them, read the tone of their voice. Negotiate with them until you start getting long pauses or several short responses like "Yeah...that's true" or "Uh-huh". At this point, you've lost them. Find a place to switch back to asking him about the '67 Mustang he's working on and get him going again.
It's also important to realize that when you are negotiating a trade with him - you are talking to the equivilent of a 9 year old. I don't mean that in a mean way - but it's the truth. Just like if you were talking to me about something like...oh, '67 Mustangs. You would need to dumb down the conversation to keep me interested for very long. Make it VERY clear how this deal would improve his roster. Accentuate any positives you can about the player(s) you're offering - just as long as you don't lie - and KEEP IT SIMPLE.
